On Posture

(A Covid journal entry, never posted, still relevant.)

I’m thinking about posture this morning, as I sit on deck overlooking a murky waterway in far east Texas. I’m thinking about posture because, as I take and see photos, I can see that the past few months of pandemic has played havoc with mine. It’s easy to laugh it off as, “the weight of the world on my shoulders,” or even shrug and think, “it’ll be better someday.” But the truth is, when the world stopped spinning and the kids were sent home from school last March, I stopped going to my office with its ergonomically adequate standing set-up and worked instead, early early mornings and late nights, hunched over my laptop at my dining room table. There, in the moments of quiet or the midst of chaos, I found myself turning my shoulders in on myself, creating comfort in isolation — the hardback wooden chair affecting my ability to square shoulders and type. I roll inward, stopped writing, fought to keep my head above water in a crashing economy as a self-employed person ineligible for assistance and, what I have learned, from this posture, is that when you’re in either survival or shame mode, it’s nearly impossible to worry about posture.

I’m thinking about posture this morning as I close a tense social media interaction with a fellow white, accomplished, parent. I adore and abhor social media with equal vigor, depending on the day. Through this…