I do not want to grind any more
no hustle
no blessing
no slay
I do not want to high knees or
move mountains or
leave a mark
or make an impact

I want to slow roll down a grassy
slope eyes closed
catch a butterfly
hold my breathe in the presence of
a…

I can promise you my bathroom has never been
so clean as the time I
listened to Andrea Gibson read the holy words to
Thank Goodness while I scrubbed
and while I screamed

there are
and will always be some things that are made clean
and holy
through inner contemplation
outward resignation
through quiet
and other…

When we travel, alone without their father, I opt for a story and save money in the seedy motels with creaking doors opening to my parking spot. …

We are driving east across rural Montana when I get the news that James Patrick Fortin has died. A few hours earlier, as my old and trusty van rumbled down gravel roads in West Glacier, we’d turned on Bohemian Rhapsody and sung loudly, all the voices. …

I think about dying every day
so when Eric the yoga instructor encourages us to inhale
and then exhale and
then close the back of our throat and
let ourselves feel empty and let ourselves feel need
I think
*this* is how I want to go
mid-breath
needing
laying on my back or stretching…

My sister’s house boasts a large picture window
south facing just off her
kitchen and below it or in the bush
near it lives a bird
who has knocked itself silly running
into the glass

Daily
more than once a day
my sister and her family will hear
the bird shuffle her wings…

Let me tell you what it is like to be a modern mother in America, twenty twenty one, fam.

Let me tell you what it is like to set an alarm clock for five am because they will start stealing our hours before they wake. To set an alarm clock…